Satir's Communication Game
From Agile Coaches Gathering
Contents |
The Blamer
The Blamer responds to any criticism by blaming the other party with an aggressive attitude. The language is very authoritarian and contains generalised statements and aggressive words. The body language implies aggression as well: tense muscle tone, bent forward, pointing fingers.
Hidden feeling: If I get the other under my authority I am safe
The Computer
The Computer responds to criticism by remaining cold and distant, arguments rationally the own position and provides logical explanation for everything that happened. The language is sophisticated, using abstract words and complicated concepts expressed as they would have a universal meaning (tip: passive sentences and unclear subject!). The body language tries to hide any feeling: still and static.
Hidden feeling: If I provide you enough arguments I am safe
The Distractor
The Distractor responds to any criticism by trying to diffuse the attention in many other directions. The language is full of questions and ideas that lead to other directions than the current subject. The pace of the speech is often very fast. The body language is asymmetric and uncoordinated with very evident gestures.
Hidden feeling: If they like me I am safe
The Placater
The Placater responds to any criticism by trying to keep as low profile as possible. The language is concealing and/or excusing, with a lot of "maybe", "possibly", "just a bit", "not that much", ... The voice tone is weak and/or squeaky. The body language implies defence: closed and withdrawing, trying to hide the fear.
Hidden feeling: If I show myself worthless I am safe
The Leveler
The Leveler expresses himself/herself through congruent verbal and non-verbal communication and responds openly to criticism without any need to blame, seek justification, hide behind data or distracting the others. This is the best state to interact with other people and it's also the most complicated to be in. It cannot be faked!
Reference
Virginia Satir - The New Peoplemaking [1]
